Negotiation in Management Decision Making Essay Example for Free

Negotiation in Management Decision Making Essay Having been approached by The Director of the Cowley Council Council (CCC) regarding an industrial dispute with their refuse collectors, a report has been prepared to give insight into the field of negotiation and aid the council in their talks with the refuse collectors. The dispute is primarily concerned with CCC’s plans to change working practices but there are also a number of other issues regarding pay, shift patterns and recent cuts in the training budget and expenses. The refuse collectors are threatening to go on strike if their demands are not met, an action that the council would undoubtedly like to avoid. According to Rubin and Brown (1975), negotiation refers to a process in which individuals work together to formulate agreements regarding an issue or issues in dispute. An agreement will only occur if the offers made are accepted by both of the parties (Neale Northcraft 1991) and should lead to order and stability, foster social harmony, increase feelings of self-efficacy, reduce the probability of future conflict, and stimulate economic prosperity (Rubin et al 1994). Getting the negotiation game right is ever important for managers â€Å"as the global economy expands, as the service sector grows, as corporate restructuring continues and as employees continue to be concerned with managing their own careers† (Neale and Bazerman 1992: 3). The initial stages of the report will cover theory and research on the decision-analytic approach to negotiation and discuss its relevance and potential use for CCC regarding its dispute with the Cowley refuse collectors. I will then identify potential biases and pitfalls that can act as barriers to effective negotiation that CCC should try to avoid. Finally I will conclude and outline suggested proposals for CCC to consider with the aim of assisting and improving their negotiations with the refuse collectors. The decision-analytic approach to decision making is a more pragmatic alternative to the dominant psychological and economic perspectives, which contain a number of limitations. The individual-attribute literature fails to measure dispositions adequately, the situational literature does not consider the importance of the negotiator’s perceptions in interpreting situational characteristics (Neale and Bazerman 1991: 20) and the game theory unrealistically assumes â€Å"impeccably rational, supersmart people† (Raiffa 1982, 2001). What differentiates the decision-analytic approach is its focus on â€Å"how erring folks like you and me actually behave† rather than on how we would behave if we were â€Å"smarter, thought harder, were more consistent, were all knowing† (Raiffa, 1982: 21). Previous psychological and economic approaches have focused on describing how people make decisions or prescribing how to improve decision making. However, â€Å"very little interaction has occurred between the descriptive and prescriptive camps† (Neale and Bazerman 1991: 20), and it is Raiffa’s (1982) avocation of an â€Å"asymmetrical† prescriptive/descriptive relationship that makes the decision-analytic approach stand out, â€Å"creating a prescriptive need to descriptively understand how negotiators actually make decisions† (Bazerman et al 2001). Many scholars hold the view that the prescriptions gained from this model are more valuable than those offered by more traditional approaches (Lax and Sebenius 1986). Raiffa’s framework for approaching effective negotiations distinguishes three sets of information, a combination of which determines the structure of the negotiation game: each parties alternative to a negotiated agreement, each parties set of interests, and the relative importance of each parties interests. â€Å"To develop agreement, people need to get a good understanding of their own preferences and priorities, to communicate those to their counterpart, and to integrate information about other’s preferences and priorities into their own understanding of the problem at hand† (De Dreu et al 2000). Before CCC enter into any negotiations with the refuse collectors, it is imperative to determine a Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement (BATNA), â€Å"the standard against which any proposed agreement should be  measured† (Fisher, and Ury 1981). Negotiations can be greatly improved by identifying a BATNA and â€Å"carefully evaluating the negotiated agreement against that alternative† (Ertel 1999). This helps negotiators fix a reservation point, a lower bound, which is crucial to monitor throughout the negotiation. Agreements that provide more value than the BATNA are preferred over impasse; likewise any agreements that provide less than the BATNA should be rejected. A potential BATNA for CCC would be to look into other refuse collection companies opening up the possibility of privatisation. The privatisation of refuse collection is a serious consideration in many areas of the UK and a â€Å"major debating point for the city council† (Birmingham Mail 2013) in Birmingham. Waste Concern, a private refuse collection company, claims that 17% of council tax goes towards refuse collection and that privatisation would lead to a cheaper, more frequent collection service, and a more efficient recycling system (edieWaste 2010). If CCC values the current refuse collectors, despite the current dispute, and they are reluctant to consider such an ultimatum, they could consider a more strategic change by introducing the proposed changes incrementally, or by altering the amount of changes being made. It is crucial for negotiators to understand each party’s key interests and how they align (Reardon 2005 : 28). Fisher and Ury (1981) emphasize the importance of the distinction between a parties’ position, and their interests, with a position being the stated requirement that a party demands from the other side, whist an interest is the underlying desire of the negotiator and the motives for their position. It can however be difficult to understand ones interests and those of the other party. CCC’s primary interests are increasing productivity and decreasing costs, whilst the refuse collectors’ interests are concerned with their financial rewards. It is however important to try and understand all of the parties’ interests. The Personnel Director may be under pressure to cut costs in order to stick to a budget so her personal interests may have more focus on performing her job in order to maintain it. The interests of the refuse collectors also concern HR aspects such as, work life balance and training and development. These interests are motives behind the position of their threat of strike, and further scrutiny may offer CCC potential areas to focus on during negotiation. Focussing on deeper interests can provide a more reasonable bargaining platform and a creative and practical solution to a negotiation. Once the interests of each party have been established, it is important for negotiators to try and value the relative importance of each party’s interests. This then allows the parties to effectively trade-off less important issues to gain more important issues. If CCC can establish that, for example, the refuse collectors desire a better work life balance as well as sufficient financial benefits, there may be potential for a medium ground to be reached offering a certain amount of each. The importance of interests often comes down to economic factors, thus job security is frequent consideration. In this instance the job security of the refuse collectors is at risk as there is a chance of redundancies if they do not cooperate. This information provides â€Å"the building blocks for thinking analytically about a negotiation† (Bazerman and Moore 2009:154) and prepares the parties for the two primary tasks of negotiation: creating and claiming value (Lax and Sebenius 1986). It is crucial for negotiators to establish the reservation points of both parties. That is the worst possible outcome they will accept before a negotiation is impasse. With both reservation points established, a positive bargaining zone is created, which allows negotiators to â€Å"aim for a resolution that is barely acceptable to the other party† (Bazerman and Moore 2009: 156) by getting as close to their reservation point as possible. It is however, also vital for both parties to try and cooperate in creating value in the negotiation, as there is often â€Å"opportunity to considerably enlarge the pie before cutting it into shares for each side to enjoy† (Raiffa 2002: 91). Lax and Sebenius (1986) stress that differences must be seen as opportunities, as opposed to barriers, that can be explored to find the most efficient solution rather than just ‘satisficing’ (Simon 1956). According to Schmidt and Tannenbaum (1960) â€Å"differences can help to increase the range and variety of alternatives suggested† and even potentially â€Å"enrich ones own goals, ideas, and methods. † So CCC must capitalise on the differences in the party preferences (Pruitt 1983) by evaluating the  position of the refuse collectors, and looking into finer detail at the interests behind these positions, before attempting to develop â€Å"novel alternatives† through â€Å"creative problem solving† (Neale and Bazerman 1991: 24). Negotiation then depends fundamentally on parties’ ability to trade issues against each other (Froman Cohen 1970) and â€Å"place demands and formulate concessions to foster agreements that meet their own goals, while avoiding that the counterpart leaves the situation† (De Dreu et al 2000). CCC could for example offer certain alternative benefits to the refuse collectors if the changes are implemented. Perhaps an investment in more efficient equipment and machinery would be appealing. There are certain tools that negotiators can use in order to aid their efforts in collecting information and subsequently increase the probability of creating value. It is certainly the case that deception is often used in negotiation (Schweitzer 1997) and can be an effective strategy for increasing one’s own outcomes (O’Connor and Carnevale 1997). However in this instance, both parties must also note that building trust and initiating a â€Å"free flow of information is critical to finding and integrative agreement† (Johns and Saks 2011)). In heated negotiations this is far easier said than done, as neither side wants to give away too much information on their stance on particular issues. However, CCC is in the position to try and create a trustworthy relationship in order to improve their informational position. The director could inform the refuse collectors of the councils’ pressures and financial limitations that are the driving factor behind the need to change the working practices and make cuts. If no suitable solution is agreed upon, then there may have to be redundancies, as the council cannot overspend. Another tactic could be to strategically disclose some information. As behaviours in negotiation are often reciprocated (Lewicki and Litterer 1985), this may prompt the refuse collectors to open up and start revealing information which may facilitate the negotiation process. CCC must also ask a lot of questions to increase the chances of ascertaining critical information. According to Bazerman and Moore (2009: 162) â€Å"asking questions and listening actively are the keys to collecting important new information from the other side† but it also important for negotiators to remember that information can be gained from what is not said, as well as  what is said. An alternative to trading issues would be for CCC to arrange some kind of contingency contract to verify weather their plans to change working practices is fair or weather it is being rightly disputed by the refuse collectors. CCC could assess a weeks worth of collection rounds and together with the refuse collectors, formulate weekly targets in terms of time and productivity. A weeks trial on this type of contingency contract could easily establish weather CCC’s planned changes are justifiable or not. There are a number of ways in which contingent contracts can benefit the outcomes to negotiations as outlined by Bazerman and Gillespie (1999). Firstly organising the implementation of a contingency contract can identify bluffs by insincere parties. This will aid CCC initially with regard to their uncertainties over issues such as the number of staff needed on each collection round, shift patterns and pay. Contingency contracts are also a useful tool in incentivising performance. It may provide more motivation for the refuse collectors to start working at or above the levels specified in the contract.

Case Study: Transferable Skills

Case Study: Transferable Skills How was I before the Core Business Skills module? The Core Business skills is a module that explores a number of quality tools that will help us to look at our core skills in the business field and identify areas where we could improve. At the beginning of this module, I used to leave my life as normal with few skills that I have learned from my parents, for example the Communication skills and Team working skills, but even it was not enough to communicate or to work with whomever. Communication skills and team working skills are the closest skills; team working can not occur if there is no communication. Since our childhood, our parents push us to get in touch with people of our ages. At beginning, it is never easy seeing the quarrels that happen with our friends in the youngest ages while playing together, but these skills get developed in growing older. I also had an experience of team working during few years when I used to play football in a club, and as we know this sport is not played individually, but in a team, and I had learned a lot during this experience. It is sure that we learn a lot from our parents and the activities in our childhood, but studying complements the path our parents put us on to build our future in order to get the objective of having a good life later on. I have also learned during my past years some important skills that our module covers, such as Numeracy skills and Information Skills. However, they were not as important as we studied during this semester. Numeracy skills are taught in increasing levels since the youngest ages, starting from the primary school until we get our degree at the university, but before, it was just numbers and relations that I learned and that dont stand for anything real. On what concerns the information skills, I have learned a few about it during the high school and I increased my level on it during the foundation year I have done last year at the university. Other skills that are closer to the communication skills which are the effective learning skills, and they are also close to the personal and career development skills as well. The effective learning skills are the ones I learned trough some experiences, but for what concerns the personal and career development skills I did know nothing about them until I discovered them during this module. What this module has changed on my life? Regarding the six transferable skills that I have learned during this module, I notice that I have made a big improvement on these skills that help me now to be more efficient on getting my objectives either on my personal or professional life. Since more than one year ago, I work and I study simultaneously, and things that I learned during this module brought me to a higher level that I was not expecting from myself. I will introduce my job in few words and describe how what I got from the Core Business Skills module changed the way I was doing it. So, I work as Electronic Dance Music producer with many professional record labels worldwide, and this started just by passion at the beginning until I have been discovered by one of the most famous deejays in South America, and then I had a proposal to sign my song on his own record label located in Buenos Aires in Argentina, here was my first professional experience and I was afraid of getting ripped off because I did not know how to deal with the contract and I did not even negotiate it. However, I kept balancing between what I study and my work and I acquired more experiences practicing what I study on my professional life. Edwin H. Friedman said about communication that The colossal misunderstanding of our time is the assumption that insight will work with people who are unmotivated to change. Communication does not depend on syntax, or eloquence, or rhetoric, or articulation but on the emotional context in which the message is being heard. People can only hear you when they are moving toward you, and they are not likely to when your words are pursuing them. Even the choices words lose their power when they are used to overpower. Attitudes are the real figures of speech. (1) So, the communication skills are very important on my daily work, now due to what I learned, I started knowing how to negotiate my contracts with the other record labels for each song I make, and this fact contributes on making more profit and also to advertise my artwork and letting people buy what I make. This course also helped me to learn how to make formal letters to communicate with the record labels and producers worldwide as well as this will serve me later on my professional life as future manager. Now as Im still a student I do use it only on my music affaire and my personal life with my family and friends. Also I would mention that as a student and future manager, I highly improved my skills on making presentations in front of the audience. On what concerns the effective learning skills on my personal and professional life, now I can know what I should improve on my life, on my studies or on my musical skills. Before, on my studies, I was kind of lost when the exams were approaching, it usually happened to me to be confused on what to prioritize and what to leave for the last, but now I got this level of knowing prioritizing the most important things after identifying them. Same thing on my life out of studies and on my professional life as well, now I can identify on what I could improve to make better songs in the future, I can manage myself to improve my personal and my student life to get best results, and eventually, now I know what I want to be, what I want to be later on, and how to get my goal. On my professional life, I also use the skills I learned about the team working knowing that my job consists on composing and producing songs, sign them on record labels then advertising them as much as possible to get profit out of them, even if advertising is the main work of the record labels. Also, it plays a vital role on my personal life. As I said at the beginning, team working is taught by our parents and our society at the first before starting classes, but whatever is the level that we get from these lasts, the school teaches us more about them. We work in teams at home, we play sport in teams and also at the school and the university we work for some projects given for our studies in teams or either preparing for our exams we mostly work in teams. TEAM stands for Together Everyone Achieves More. Working in teams is essential on the business life, either working for our own or others companies, these skills consist mainly on sharing tasks and ideas in a project work, and th is technique is more efficient than working alone. Numeracy skills stand for budgeting, numeracy functions and computations, dates and time, parenting and health related numeracy. These skills on budgeting or money management and banking serve to count money, make change, calculate services charges, save money and invest it too, and these are generally skills that our module covers adding to the numeracy functions and computations skills that we learned in the past from the primary school until the high school. Dates and time skills are used to some basic things in life as using a calendar, fill in time sheets or writing the date as well as the parenting and health related numeracy skills to read directions and dosage on medicines bottles, read thermometers or to understand a report card. All these numeracy skills are important and very useful on whomevers daily life for either managers, farmers or whatever we can be. During this module I leaned the most of the important numeracy skills for business management field, and this regardi ng the decision threes to analyze and get the best solution to do not make loss on business and take the best decision. The information skills are vital for all the successful professionals. These skills help us to become more efficient. Here are some techniques that help us to develop our information skills. The first one is how to take notes effectively, and this is a good tool to record and organize the information, the second one is to fully absorb the written information to assimilate and understand the written information quickly and effectively. Reading strategies is also a technique to read faster by thinking what to read, while the technique of keeping the information fresh in our minds helps to keep what we learned alive in our minds. There is also a technique which is learning in a way that suits us and this will not only help us on developing the ways we can learn, but we will be able to make what we do so the others can learn efficiently from us. Making learning an enjoyable experience is for me the best way to learn efficiently because if we love what we do we get good results, and this is what is helping me a lot on my music producer career, even all the results that I got from my productions I still dont consider this as a job but just as my main passion and I keep learning day after day. Same thing on my studies, there are some topics that I enjoy and I can be successful on them, but once I dont love one topic, I know that I will have problems within it. The personal and career development skills are the ones I really enjoyed during this module. These skills are mainly keys for everyones life. To know our own strengths that we already have and we might build on, our weaknesses that we could reduce or otherwise work around, our opportunities that are related to our chances and that we can exploit better than the others, or even our threads that we need to be aware of them and to avoid them is a simple analysis that allows us to know who really we are and to avoid stress. I also learned how to manage my time and the basic ideas of control in this module, and all these skills have changed my personal and professional life and help me to gain more confidence on myself and to keep improving on my life in general. What should I develop again on my transferable skills? All the skills that I got from the Core Business Skills module are not skills related only to the business field, but to our life in general and help to improve the way we are living it. Bill Clinton, the forty second U.S President (1993-2001) said: Today, many companies are reporting that their number one constraint on growth is the inability to hire workers with the necessary skills. (2) From what Bill Clinton said, companies have a lack of workers with the necessary skills, and they do their best to overcome this problem, but people with the necessary skills are not enough to satisfy every companys need. To participate on the growth of our society, we should all have some basic skills which when we develop them, we get a higher level of confidence and abilities. Personally, even the improvement that I have done during this module, I still have to improve all the skills to get my personal objective. We know that the sky is the limit for what concerns learning the skills, and we can improve them more and more day after day. My skills on communication are not enough, because if I start communicating with professional people I could not be at the same level as them, but with the practice and time I can develop my skills and reach the level required by the professional world. Also, I still have many problems when it comes to the numeracy skills on business; the decision tree for example seems to me easy, I can get the tree, but not the calculation, I usually get lost on applying the relations and calculating numbers. The information skills, and the personal and career development skills, I think we can develop them more within the next modules and experiences. I got a lot of benefits from this module, it has changed my life, now I see things in a professional way and this is the best way to reach out the objectives that we set on our life. Now that I learned also these skills I set new goals to my life and I will try to achieve them all, or at least the majority. People with goals mostly succeed because they already know where they are going. I also believe in Willis Reeds quote that says: Go for the moon. If you dont get it, you will still be heading for a star.

Death of a child and the impact to parental grief

Death of a child and the impact to parental grief Adulthood is the stage in  the human lifespan that captures the stages of acquiring independence from the family of origin, establishing loving relationships and having and raising children.   When adults transition into the role of spouse and parent they are not likely to attribute this meaningful time of life to crisis.   The death of a child disrupts the biological order of the lifespan and challenges a parents understanding of their world (Rogers, Floyd, Seltzer, Greenberg and Hong, 2008). Researchers have labelled the death of a child as one of the most tragic events a parent must endure.   In a study by Sanders (1980) comparing bereavement in individuals who experienced the death of a parent, spouse and child, Sanders identified more intense grief reactions among those who survived the death of a child (as cited by Arnold and Buschman Gemma, 2008).   A childs death impacts the parent on multiple levels; as an individual, as a partner and as a contributing member of society.   Grief is often complicated by the addition of anxiety and fatigue which impedes communication in relationships and with other members of a family (Toller and Braithwaite, 2009).  Ã‚   According to Emmons, Colby and Kaiser (1998) grief is often equated to the destruction of the persons assumptive world (as cited by Rogers, Floyd, Seltzer, Greenberg and Hong, 2008, p. 204).   Additionally, Colin Murray Parkes (1970) defines the assumptive world as represent[ing] the totality of what the individual knows or thinks he knows. It includesà ¢Ã¢â€š ¬Ã‚ ¦ our plans and our prejudices (as cited by Tedeschi and Calhoun, 2004, p. 21).   The length of parental grief has been estimated by some to last upwards of a decade following the childs death while other researchers acknowledge parental grief as lasting indefinitely (Rogers, Floyd, Seltzer, Greenberg and Hong, 2008).   The negative effects of prolonged grief have implications on bereaved parents mental and physical health well into midlife (Rogers, Floyd, Seltzer, Greenberg and Hong, 2008).    This paper will explore the impact that the death of a child has on the mother and father as individuals and together as a couple.   It will examine how individuals use coping mechanisms and a quest for meaning to transform this crisis in adulthood into the potential for personal growth and a renewed sense of purpose for life.   For the purposes of this paper bereavement and grief will be defined.   According to Parkes and Weiss (1983) bereavement is à ¢Ã¢â€š ¬Ã‚ ¦encompassing the entire experience of anticipating a death, death itself and the subsequent adjustment to living (as cited by Meert et al., 2009).   In addition, Therese Rando (1993) defines grief as the process of experiencing the psychological, behavioural, social and physical reactions to the perception of loss (p. 22). Although crisis in adulthood is inclusive of both men and women, research shows gender specific styles of grieving and coping with the death of a child.   In a study conducted with bereaved parents by Toller and Braithwaite (2009), mothers identified the need to express their grief through discussing the death and the shedding of tears.   In her book When the Bough Breaks: Forever after the Death of a Son or Daughter, author Judith Bernstein (1998) discusses womens grief response as frequently revealing and more likely desolate.   Bernstein (1998) explains that mothers expressive grief may be the result of the degree mothers are invested in their parental role.   Ã‚  Expression of emotions can be significantly difficult in a mothers grief experience of a stillborn baby when societal support may be absent or limited due to the inability of society to recognize the birth and death as a meaningful event (Cacciatore, 2010).   Cacciatore (2010) identifies that parents presumptio n of support from family, friends and medical staff may be based in their own value and understanding of the loss which contradicts the support actually afforded them.   Additionally, Shainess (1963) challenged that childbirth that ends with the death of a baby not only has the potential to devastate a womens self-image but also may alter how she relates herself to others (as cited by Cacciatore, 2010).   Stillbirth has been coined as the invisible death because very few people knew or met the child, the mother has very few keepsakes to memorialize their child and inevitably the mother may feel pressure to forget the child by their social network (Cacciatore, 2010).   Li, Laursen, Precht, Olsen and Mortensen (2005) found that bereaved mothers, compared with nonbereaved mothers, were at much higher risk for first time inpatient psychiatric care.   The risks remained notably higher for more than five years following the death of a child (as cited by Rogers, Floyd, Seltzer, Greenberg and Hong, 2008).   In addition, Radestad et al. (1996) identified bereaved mothers of stillborn babies experience higher rates of anxiety up to three years following the death as compared to mothers who had live born children (as cited by Cacciatore, 2010). Bereaved mothers often question their ability to be successful at motherhood following the death of a child (Cacciatore, 2010).   Children within the family unit are often impacted by the death of a baby when their parents grief makes them unavailable to their emotional demands (Cacciatore, 2010).   Interestingly, a study by Peterson (1994) found that the death of a baby continues to affect future generations.   In the study, adult daughters of mothers who experienced a stillbirth, reported fear during their own pregnancy, in addition to guilt, anxiety and grief in adulthood that impacted attachment with their own children (as cited by Cacciatore, 2010). Mothers may illicit varied strategies to cope with the death of their child.   In a study of 47 bereaved mothers, Cacciatore (2010) found that 21% acknowledged using alcohol and illegal drugs as a form of coping, while 45% of respondents reported contemplating self-harm.   All of the respondents indicated that the death of their child had considerably altered their identity (Cacciatore, 2010).   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚   Men and women do not always experience grief following the death of a child in the same way.   It is not uncommon for fathers to experience societal messages that encourage a traditional male role of strength that bravely supports the mother following the childs death (Aho, Tarkka, Astedt-Kurki and Kaunonen, 2006).   Not surprisingly, these messages may explain why research has found men are more likely to deny grief or grieve in private while suppressing reactions or hiding feelings (Aho, Tarkka, Astedt-Kurki and Kaunonen, 2006). In a study of fathers reactions to infant loss, Colsen (2001) examined conscious and unconscious responses to grief.   The study showed that some fathers had pronounced grief reactions in the unconscious while denying the presence of grief consciously (as cited by Aho, Tarkka, Astedt-Kurki and Kaunonen, 2006).   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚   In analysis of the research, several studies have indicated that fathers use physical activity as a means to cope with grief as well as to assimilate control over their emotions (Aho, Tarkka, Astedt-Kurki and Kaunonen, 2006; Toller and Braithwaite, 2009).   In addition to feelings of physical pain, often attributed to the physicality of mens grief, fathers identify strong and prolonged feelings of guilt, anger and bitterness after the death of a child directed at themselves, God and caregiving personnel (Aho, Tarkka, Astedt-Kurki and Kaunonen, 2006).   Interestingly, in a study by Barrera et al. (2009) concerning parent adjustment following the death of a child, researchers found that the fathers interviews were significantly longer than those of the mothers.   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚   As indicated in the discussion surrounding maternal grief, several studies have concluded that increased alcohol consumption also contributes to the fathers grief experience (Aho, Tarkka, Astedt-Kurki and Kaunonen, 2006).   In fact, in a study by Vance et al. (1995), concerning gender differences and psychological grief reactions for bereaved parents, research found that alcohol use in parents directly after the death and up to three years following, was significantly higher than the control group who had not experienced a death (as cited by Aho, Tarkka, Astedt-Kurki and Kaunonen, 2006).   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚   Parents may also share common experiences of grief following the death of a child. In a study of parental adjustment six months after the death of their child, participants identified that they mourned a future without their children and that they would never see the child meet milestones such as their graduation or wedding (Barrera et al., 2009).   In addition to missing milestones these same participants reported a significant need to physically touch their children again (Barrera et al., 2009).   Some parents of children who died in the pediatric intensive care unit indicated that they needed mementos to assist them in feeling connected to their child.   Mementos ranged from a stuffed animal to a locket of the childs hair (Meert et al, 2008).   In fact, researchers argue that the ability of the parents to establish a continued connection with the deceased child through the use of memories is integral to the parental experience o f bereavement and coping (Barrera et al., 2009).   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚   In addition to continuing the bond with their deceased child, parents have additional stress in establishing commonalities and differences in grief within the marital relationship.   Meaning is derived from telling the story of the childs death and this can be particularly difficult for bereaved parents who often feel that their social network is not receptive to talk of the death experience (Toller and Braithwaite, 2009).   Alternatively, parents may turn to one another as a means of support but this can also prove difficult since both partners are experiencing the death simultaneously (Toller and Braithwaite, 2009).   In a study by Toller and Braithwaite (2009) of bereaved parents they found that parents wanted to grieve with their spouse while concurrently indicating that they also needed space to grieve separately from their partner.   The parents in this study reported that grieving together was difficult due to the differing ways in which they and their partners approached and even expressed grief (Toller and Braithwaite, 2009). A fear for many bereaved spouses is the statistical relevance of divorce among bereaved parents.   Although some research indicates a higher occurrence of divorce following the death of a child, other research challenges the methodology and difficulties in tracking divorced couples in order to make concise conclusions (Rogers, Floyd, Seltzer, Greenberg and Hong, 2008).   Ã‚  Ã‚     Ã‚  Ã‚     Ã‚  Ã‚   A more alarming finding is the evidence of depression and long term health concerns among bereaved parents.   In their study, Rogers, Floyd, Seltzer, Greenberg and Hong (2008) analyzed data from the Wisconsin Longitudinal Study (WLS) and found that bereaved parents, in midlife and on average 18 years following the death of their child, reported more symptoms of depression   and cardiovascular problems than their nonbereaved cohort.   In fact, 83% of bereaved parents in the WLS reported depression within three years of their childs death (Rogers, Floyd, Seltzer, Greenberg and Hong, 2008).   The researchers of this study concluded that the return to employment, social and family roles may indicate full recovery following the death of a child but persistent episodes of depression and health related issues suggest internal turmoil that may not be recognized and acknowledged by friends and family (Rogers, Floyd, Seltzer, Greenberg and Hong, 2 008).   Furthermore, this study showed that the ability to function was not greater with the passing of time since the death and suggested that the bereavement following the death of a child may lead to continued health concerns for decades (Rogers, Floyd, Seltzer, Greenberg and Hong, 2008). Bereaved parents do find ways to cope and manage the grief both individually and as a couple.   Many parents indicate that surviving children provide them with a sense of purpose and parents reinvest energy into ensuring these children are learning how to cope with the death of their sibling (Barrera et al., 2009).   Barrera et al. (2009) identified the presence of surviving children at the time of death to be linked with lower instance of marital discord.     Researchers in multiple studies found that bereaved parents who did not have surviving children reported a strong desire to have another child through pregnancy, adoption or fostering (Barrera et al., 2009; Arnold and Buschman Gemma, 2008). Interestingly Videka-Sherman (1982) found evidence that parents who had a subsequent child following death were more likely to have better psychological adjustment to grief (as cited by   (Rogers, Floyd, Seltzer, Greenberg and Hong, 2008). In the study conducted by Toller and Braithwaite (2009) the majority of bereaved parents indicated that although they experienced grief differently than their partner, they were eventually able to identify and empathize, even accept the differences.   Bereaved parents who recognized that grieving is unique to each individual and in turn gave their spouse room to grieve or engaged with others for support found that they were able to navigate the differences and maintain a healthy relationship (Toller and Braithwaite, 2009).   Although therapeutic models encourage an ability to be open and heal, Toller and Braithwaite (2009) suggest that selective closedness has shown evidence of health in grieving (p. 273).   In fact, nonverbal communication between spouses is possible to create connection in grieving through hand holding, physical closeness and expression through letter writing (Toller and Braithwaite, 2009). Many parents have identified the need to redefine themselves integrating the experience of being a parent to a child who has died (Barrera et al., 2009).   Parents have described the need for their child to be validated and recognized in a societal context, given worth in order to aid them in their ability to grieve that child (Meert et al, 2009).   Of additional importance is the acceptance from family, friends and parents social network to allow bereaved parents to grieve in a way that is meaningful to them at their own speed and without judgement (Meert et al., 2009). Ultimately, bereaved parents incorporate a variety of support strategies to assist them in coping with the death of their child (Barrera et al., 2009).   Many bereaved parents identified an eventual revitalized purpose to life, commonly associated with a desire to give back to the community and support other bereaved parents (Barrera et al., 2009).   Following the death of a child, Calhoun and Tedeschi (2001) theorise that individuals undergo a reorganization of beliefs surrounding significance of the world and oneself. According to Calhoun and Tedeschi (2001) posttraumatic growth is the positive changes in relationship to others, spirituality or philosophy of life, and sense of self that follows bereavement (p. 344).   A study by Engelkemeyer and Marwit (2008) of bereaved parents found that parents who reported growth were also the parents who identified having a positive outlook regarding self-worth and characterised themselves as being lucky.   The death of a child has a profound effect on the parents as individuals and as a couple that creates a crisis in their transition through adulthood.   Bereaved parents may experience negative or positive consequences of the grief experienced following their childs death and these effects will be felt throughout the remainder of their lifespan. A quote from one bereaved mother eloquently sums up the enormity of death on the life experience: Death being such a major part of life is something that only those who experience it firsthand can truly attest to being at the very core of our existence.   Death changes who we are and what we feel about life entirely.   Death even steals our perception of time and how a month ending, or a year ending or the celebration of new life affects us.   Death comes in and manipulates everyone we come in contact with, while making us an alien to everyone (Ruffin, 2010, p.9).

Love In Todays Society Essay -- essays research papers

Love In Today's Society A key to understanding Sociology and the Social Sciences in general is to evaluate subjects through time and compare and contrast characteristics that have changed and those that have remained the same. For this assignment I have elected to access three sources dealing with love; in three distinct time periods in the modern era. First we will survey one of the first popular mediums for the expression of love; that of poetry. I have chosen a poem by W.H. Auden to represent the early portion of this century- specifically the 1930s and 1940s. I knew I had to include a song from my idol Jim Morrison. Not only is he the perfect voice of the volatile sex revolution of the 1960s and 1970s; his work captures the profile of a rock star who undoubtedly acquired his domineering attitude from the endless worship of submissive women. Lastly we enter the modern era with a article from my favorite magazine Men's Health on the mistakes a man must avoid in order to please his lover. As we shall see, the increased freedom is very interesting in our first representation to the last. My goal is to show how love has changed. I hope to show what is accepted in our society today, compared with only several decades ago. Application My sources run the gamut of ideas in the subject of love. I think Auden's poem is the best representation of what has been termed â€Å"courtly love.† This seems logical, since this Romantic Era type of love was a pre-cursor to what we know as modern love. The author takes the troubadour role in his crooning style of praising his love's qualities. He idealizes his mate and is satisfied just being in the same room as she. There are not any ulterior motives evident. Auden would be categorized as a â€Å"heavenly lover,† in that his love is more lofty and sacred. There is definite contrast to this idealism though. In his last lines the author, without reservation tells of his sorrow at his loss of her to another. Morrison's Love Her Madly could almost be interpreted as a form of limerance. He has this extreme fondness for his subject: â€Å"Don't ya love her madly?† Anyone who knows the story of Jim Morrison knows that the topic of love and all that comes with it was an integral facet of his being. He is a good example of love in the context of a super-star entertainer. Morrison's songs, and most others found... ...an work their difficulties out before they explode. Conclusion It is definitely true that attitudes on love have changed in the last decade. Social structures and norms have fluctuated and have influenced people's decisions in their own lives as well as their perceptions of others. Many people would rather return to the innocent times of Auden where love seemingly was true and carried no strings. There does seem to be a problem with the increased fragmentation of society in regards to finding love today. Gone are the days when you married your high school sweet-heart and lived happily ever after. Increased mobility and the ease of travel has left love more available and open. People need more help today from outside services like dating hotlines and the help of marriage counselors and physchologists to sort out their troubles. It follows though that society is more complex and therefore better. Women have more rights and more say in society. There is no doubt that females were exploited more in the past than today. While society's attitudes have changed over the years and will continue to change, one thing remains the same: love is a driving force in our lives.

Sonnets 18 and 130: Defending and Defying the Petrarchan Convention Es

Sonnets 18 and 130: Defending and Defying the Petrarchan Convention  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚     Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚   During the Renaissance, it was common for poets to employ Petrarchan conceit to praise their lovers. Applying this type of metaphor, an author makes elaborate comparisons of his beloved to one or more very dissimilar things. Such hyperbole was often used to idolize a mistress while lamenting her cruelty. Shakespeare, in Sonnet 18, conforms somewhat to this custom of love poetry, but later breaks out of the mold entirely, writing his clearly anti-Petrarchan work, Sonnet 130. In Sonnet 18, Shakespeare employs a Petrarchan conceit to immortalize his beloved. He initiates the extended metaphor in the first line of the sonnet by posing the rhetorical question, "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?" The first two quatrains of the poem are composed of his criticism of summer. Compared to summer, his lover is "more lovely and more temperate" (2). He argues that the wind impairs the beauty of summer, and summer is too brief (3-4). The splendor of summer is affected by the intensity of the sunlight, and, as the seasons change, summer becomes less beautiful (5-8). Due to all of these shortcomings of summer, Shakespeare contends in the third quatrain of this sonnet that comparing his lover to this season fails to do her justice. While "often is gold [summer's] complexion dimmed," her "eternal summer shall not fade" (6, 9). She, unlike summer, will never deteriorate. He further asserts that his beloved will neither become less beautiful, nor even die, because she is immortalized through his poetry. The sonnet is concluded with the couplet, "So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see, / So long live this, and this gives life to thee" (13-14). T... ... 1999. Available HTTP: library.utoronto.ca. Shakespeare, William. "Sonnet 18." The Norton Anthology of English Literature, Vol. 1. M. H. Abrams, ed. W. W. Norton (New York): 1993. ---. "Sonnet 130." The Norton Anthology of English Literature, Vol. 1. M. H. Abrams, ed. W. W. Norton (New York): 1993. Sidney, Philip. "Astrophel and Stella." Online. Renascence Editions. U of Oregon P. 6 Apr. 1999. Available HTTP: darkwing.uoregon.edu. Spenser, Edmund. "Amoretti 18." Online. Sonnet Central. Available HTTP: www.sonnets.org. Wootton, John. Untitled. Online. Sonnet Central. Available HTTP: www.sonnets.org. Wyatt, Sir Thomas. "Avising The Bright Beams of These Fair Eyes." British Library Egerton MS. 2711, fol. 22, ed. Richard Harrier. Canon, 1975: 125-26. Online. U of Toronto Lib. Internet. 6 April 1998. Available HTTP: library.utoronto.ca.   

The Burden of Deceit in Public Life

The Burden of Deceit in Public Life: Sissela Bok Writing to Discover Nancy, a middle-aged politician, is more than eager to be elected as her town’s mayor in the next election. With the mind-set that she will, in reality, be limited as far as what she can do to help her town as a whole, Nancy decides to â€Å"sugar-coat† her public speech. In doing this, Nancy is confident that the citizens of her town will feel both reassured and hopeful that she will make many positive changes as mayor; even if she doesn’t have the power to do so.In contrast; Tyler, a sixteen-year-old boy, has just been confronted by his girlfriend about cheating on her with her best friend. Instinctively, he denies the situation as a whole, hoping his girlfriend will believe him. Although being dishonest, Tyler feels as though it is the best decision to save their relationship and prevent his girlfriend from getting hurt. While these are both hypothetical situations, they also happen in realit y, and on a daily basis. Nancy and Tyler differ from one another in age, gender, and case-but they are very much alike in the sense that they both chose to lie.The word lie is such a harmless, three-lettered-word, right? Wrong. Lying is something that is both overlooked morally and figuratively. Regardless of what extent one chooses to lie, they are still in the wrong. I feel as though there is no â€Å"grey area† in terms of telling a lie; there is truth, and then there is untruth. With this being said, I consider all of deception, self-deception, deceit, and mendacity to be forms of lying. Deception withholds dishonesty in itself; it undoubtedly correlates to any type of trickery and or fraud.Likewise, deceit involves being dishonest as well. Whether one does this through actions or words would just depend upon the situation. Mendacity includes both lies and also self-deception, making it a more severe form of lying. I do believe that there are different degrees of lying. T here are â€Å"white-lies,† which are used in minor situations, and often used carelessly by individuals. These particular lies correlate to what was said earlier when I stated that lies are overlooked both morally and figuratively.Why do individuals feel the need to tell a so-called â€Å"white-lie† in order to impress another person, cover-up a skeptical situation, or simply for their own enjoyment? This I cannot begin to fathom. In addition, a â€Å"white-lie† is accepted by many in our world today. Humans feel as though it is rational in certain situations and can obviously prevent matters from blowing out of proportion. This is fine, until of course the first â€Å"white-lie† adds up to five, and then ten, etc. Before that person can blink, he or she has converted into a compulsive liar.After a â€Å"white-lie† comes that of a normal lie. By this I mean one that is used intentionally, and with the purpose of covering up wrong. Those who lie ab out things such as committing adultery, stealing, or even taking the life of another, are all sinners in my eyes. To prevent from making this a religious response, I will just bluntly state that if a person is being immoral in any way, shape, or form, they are in the wrong. Lying correlates to this on many levels and is simply unjust.

Comaprison Theorist Essay

Sigmund Freud’s approach to personality would be and still is a debate within our society today. Researchers and psychologist are still observing his approach and there are still unanswered questions. One approach Freud did not use was how our society and culture would effect the person we all would become. The one thing that most Neo-Freudian’s agreed on was that early childhood experiences would have an effect on your personality development. Freud laid the path for psychologist and many would take what they learned from him and go in their own direction. Alfred Adler was one Neo-Freudian that disagreed with Freud. Their disagreement was not only professional it became personal. Adler approach was called the individual psychology. He helped us understand personality with striving for superiority, how our parents were an influence on our personalities as children and the effect of our birth order. Adler like Freud believed that your earlier years were important when it came to shaping your personality when you became and adult. One thing Adler believed is that the parent’s role would affect the child. The first thing parents should not do is give the child too much attention. By stating this Adler meant pampering. He believed that pampering would take away children’s independence. They become more dependent on people, and they don’t learn how to make their own decisions. He believed that they should be able to make mistakes and make their own decisions, because this would be good for them and they would learn to be more dependent. Another mistake  parents make stated Adler was they would not give children enough attention, which would lead to neglect. If children don’t receive enough attention they would grow up to be distant, and would not know how to be intimate or carry on a relationship. Adler was the first psychologist to mention that the order in which you were born would shape your personality. Comparison of Theorists3 Carl Jung also would leave Freud and Freud would feel betrayed by that. He took him leaving personal as well. Jung was curious with religious concepts. He would take Freud’s idea of unconscious and put his own twist to it. We as people would inherit our physical characteristics, but Jung believed we inherited unconscious psychic characterics as well. After Jung left Freud he would travel around the world and study other cultures and this is were he would base his theory on. He relied a lot on ancient mythology and Eastern religion. Jung believed that the collective unconscious is made up by something called the primordial images. These images would help people respond to our society in a different way, there called archetypes. Basically Jung would describe the collective unconscious as the concept of instincts. He also believed that every man had a feminine side and female had a masculine side. He had three archetypes that he spoke on the anima which is the feminine side of the male, and the animus is the masculine side of female. Stating this, Jung was the first psychologist to point out people would have both male and female characteristics within themselves. Another archetype he had was called the shadow. The shadow was known as the dark side that people would possess. It does not actually mean that people are evil. The main thing that Jung is known for was his focus on introversive and extroversive types. An introvert was someone who focused more inwardly, this person was not the social type and focused more on themselves. An extravert focus just the opposite their focus was outward. Jung, like Freud would stay on the topic of human behavior. Karen Horney was a female psychologist who disagreed with how Freud viewed women. Freud stated that men and women were born with different personalities. (pg 111 n.d.). Horney would disagree with that, she thought  that our social and culture played a bigger role in our  Comparison of Theorists4  personality then biology. She studied a term called neurosis, which means neurotic. Horney’s definition of neurotic is that people are trapped in a self-defeating interpersonal style. The way people interact with others prevents them from developing the social contact they unconsciously crave. (pg 112 n.d.). This will lead to a defense mechanism to help with their feeling of anxiety. Freud would say neurosis was an unconscious battle between various aspects of personality. Horney would state that it would start off in your childhood. Horney had three styles neurotics would use to avoid anxiety experiences. They were called â€Å"moving away from people†, â€Å"moving toward people†, â€Å"moving against people.† Moving away from people, this is when children would learn to just tune people out. When in a hostile environment or situation, instead of engaging with the others they would just tune the person out. Basically ignore the situation. As adults they become sheltered. They would find jobs with little interactions and they would reframe from being in a relationship or intimate. These people would become emotionless and if attached to someone or something the feeling of emptiness while a child would all return. Moving toward people, these people become very dependent on others. They yearn for affection and strive to get accepted by their parents. This yearning would temporally relive them for any anxiety they are having, but in later years they would rely on this. As adults they would have more then usual need for love and affection. They don’t want to be lonely, and believe that any relationship they are in is a relationship. They are demanding affection and don’t know how to love, they are more clingy. Moving against people, these people would rather fight. They have the urge to have power while pushing around children. These individuals believe that being aggressive and mean you can get what you can in that form. You basically take control of the matter before anyone else does. One thing that Horney debated about was Freud theory on  Comparison of Theorists5  women. Freud stated women had â€Å"penis envy†, which is the desire that every girls as to be a boy†(pg 114 n.d.). Horney disagreed and stated that men envy us women and the ability we have to bear and nurse children, this was called the â€Å"womb envy†. Horney was not stating that men were not pleased with themselves but simply stating that we all have qualities that each other admirer. Horney did point out when Freud was making his theory on woman that he was living in a time where woman were treated the way they should have been, he was living in a era where the culture would have helped his influence on the decisions he made for women. Erick Erikson would use some of Freud ideas in his theory; he would add some of his own ideas. Freud believed that the ego was between id impulses and superego demand; however Erikson believed that the ego played a bigger part. Erikson believed that the ego played a powerful, independent part of personality. (pg 106 n.d.). It would help with your identity, and your need to over come the environment. Your ego is to help you get your sense of identity. The term identity crisis comes from Erikson. You would usually find this in adolescents; they seem to not know which way they are going in life. Freud ended his personality development around six years of age, as for Erikson he said it would continue throughout a person’s life. By saying this he gave us eight stages that start from when you are a baby until you’re at an old age. The first stage is basic trust versus mistrust this stage is during infancy years, newborns have no choice but to rely on everyone around them. Autonomy versus shame and doubt is during the toddler’s years, when children want to feel powerful and independent. At the toddler stage Adler stated parents should not pamper, as for Erikson he stated they should not be overprotective at this stage. Initiative versus guilty is early childhood, children learn how to organize and they will learn to set goals and kick down and challenges that come their way. Industry versus. Comparison of Theorists6  inferiority is elementary school age years, this when children soon find out  there is more competition out their in the world. Identity versus role confusion is adolescence years, when teenagers find out who they are and what they want in life. Intimacy versus isolation is young adulthood years, when you seek for the relationship you have always longed for. Generatively versus stagnation is adulthood years, when you want to guide the next generation because you feel as though you have not done everything you want in your life. Ego integrity versus despair is old age years, when you look at your past life and smile you know you have that sense of integrity, but if you don’t you know at this time, it’s too late because time is short now. These four Neo-Freudians have their own approach on personality psychology. When reading all of their perspectives, I would agree to disagree with most. I agreed with Erikson’s approach with the eight stages, Horney was believable because I am a woman and I could relate to where she was coming with her feminine psychology approach. Jung was the more vibrant one and he dug deep into different cultures, and I disagreed with Adler’s approach with the birth order, but would agree with his perspective on how parents pampered and neglected their children. So like there are still debates and intellectual conversations about personality psychology, I would have to debate as well, because there are so many different approaches you can lean towards when it comes to this topic. Comparison of Theorists7 References Burger, J. (2010). Personality. CengageLearning. Eighth edition